Just a short post this morning to offer thanks once again for all the kind notes about Matilde and my father. It really helps, more than people realize.
I'm off to visit Dad again today.
The grief over Matilde is still very fresh; my wife and I have cried a lot together. Funny, isn't it, how one's grief is at once assuaged and compounded by the grief of one's spouse? She and I shared an intense love for this sweet little creature, and I am comforted when we cry together; at the same time, it makes my heart ache all the more to know that my wife is hurting.
I may be taking a hiatus from the blogosphere, but I don't know if I've ever been discussed so much by others in one week:
Ralph Luker points out that I am quoted (not as I would wish) at National Review.
Piny at Feministe, McBoing at Punkass Blog, Sheelzebub, and Violet at Reclusive Leftist (as well as many of their commenters) are not happy with me for reasons that will become clear when you glance at their posts. There is much to respond to, but not just yet. Let me make it clear, however, that I don't expect folks to "take it easy" on me because I'm going through a hard time with the loss of Matilde and my Dad's illness. I'd like to think that even my harshest critics are sympathetic to my grief, and can separate annoyance and anger at my public pronouncements from an actual hostility towards me as a person.
So, I do promise some vigorous yet charitable responses to all of this sometime soon. But for a little while longer, my focus needs to be elsewhere.
Hugo,
Your wife sent me this link, and I just wanted to post a quick word. Matty was the sweetest little love. I'm heartbroken that you and your wife lost her and realize how challenging this period in your life is. My heart goes out to you and your family and I am thinking of you constantly.
As for Matty, I will miss her terribly. She mattered greatly to me and I always felt lucky to get to pet her and talk to her whenever visiting your home - she was such a gentle soul. I knew very little about chins and their struggles until I laid eyes on such a beautiful little animal.
May she rest in peace.
Love,
Mary Elizabeth
Posted by: Mary Elizabeth Raffety | June 13, 2006 at 10:27 AM
Hugo, I know it's none of my business, but I hope you'll not hurry to regroup before favoring us with your writing again. You've a lot on your plate obviously and your fans and detractors aren't going anywhere. My best wishes to you and yours at this trying time.
Posted by: Douglas, Friend of Osho | June 13, 2006 at 11:50 AM
May God's grace be with you this day!
I love your blog!
Phil Hoover
Chicago
Posted by: Phil Hoover | June 13, 2006 at 12:00 PM
Despite the harsh words, I do hope things get better for you soon. A sick parent is among the worst things -- losing a beloved pet just makes it that much worse. Take care.
Posted by: McBoing | June 13, 2006 at 03:07 PM
Take care, Hugo. Much sympathy and well wishes.
Posted by: Arwen | June 13, 2006 at 08:36 PM
Hey Hugo,
Sorry to hear about Matilde and your father's illness. I hope he recovers, and things go better for you in the coming weeks. Honestly, what you are being handed at Punkass, Feministe, and Sheelzebub is uncalled for and below the belt kind of stuff. Stand tall, man. Things will get better!
Mack
Posted by: Mack Idaho | June 13, 2006 at 08:47 PM
My sympathies are with you, Hugo. I still miss dear Opal, and appreciated your straightforward and genuine honor of my love for her. I feel the same for you and Matilde. I'm also amazed at how all grief (and love) converges. I thought that, after having grieved people, losing a cat would just be trivial. Instead, any grief triggers all grief, and while I did move on with my life after Opal's death fairly easily, I loved her even more for the way her loss reminded me to love and honor all others I've lost. It's also nice to have a sweet place in my heart where I, and I alone, reminisce about her.
Posted by: jenell | June 14, 2006 at 06:31 AM
Hugo,
I know this is a rough month, and I'm so sorry for your loss. There is nothing on any of the other threads, IMHO, that can't wait a little while, and no one will hold it against you if you don't respond right away.
Please take good care of yourself.
Cheers,
TH
Posted by: Tom Head | June 15, 2006 at 01:24 AM
Best wishes to you. I am a long time feminist, since the early 70s when a favorite teacher of mine taught us about feminism and amongst other things that feminism was about liberating both sexes from sexist stereotypes.
I am very sad to say that my experiences are that many people that call themselves feminist these days are not about equality between the sexes and are not about liberating both sexes from sexual stereotypes. Instead they are about leveraging power for women under the belief that women are disadvantaged. Some of that belief is based on fact, and some is not. But for many of these so called feminists, righting these wrongs comes at the distinct disadvantage of men.
They justify their actions by calling those men, whiny, or white, or abusers, or members of MRAs. It's sexist, racist, and dehumanizing. It is not equality. It is not based on believing that both sexes have a responsibility to act ethically towards themselves as well as to others.
It is based on ignoring evidence, scientific studies, obvious injustices and rationalizing by saying that "well maybe some men are hurt but I believe that more women are hurt!" And thus the rationalization is that it is okay to hurt innocent people. The ends justify the means.
Ends justify the means?
Not feminism.
Posted by: jerry | June 19, 2006 at 11:37 PM