A final tribute to Matilde

I really do expect to be blogging about other topics very soon; I'm eager to respond to the ongoing discussion of  my "Pete" post from eight days ago.  Let that wait one or two more days, folks, and I'll be back at it.

I'm writing this morning in thanksgiving for the life of our beautiful chinchilla, Matilde.   Again, I thank everyone who has commented or e-mailed with condolences since her sudden death this past Sunday morning; the sympathies of strangers and friends alike have been of great comfort to us. But if you aren't interested in reading a eulogy for a chin, skip the post!

My wife and I brought Matilde home the very same week that I started up this blog.  My first entry here at Typepad was on January 13, 2004; "Matty" came home with us five days later.  Here's my first brief entry about her.

It is almost axiomatic that it is a great good fortune indeed to be the sole pet of a childless couple!  Matilde came into our lives a few months before my wife and I were engaged, but well after we had moved in together. We had debated the merits of various kinds of pets, worried that a diurnal animal would be lonely given our hectic schedules.  We needed a pet that would be out and active in the evenings, and learned from some casual research that chinchillas would fit the bill.

When my then-girlfriend and I went to the Glendale Petco on January 18, 2004, we didn't expect to come home with a new family member.   As is so often the case, we just "went to look."  But when the Petco guy opened up a small glass enclosure and brought out a little three-month old chin, my wife and I fell in love.  "She's a very sweet and loving female", he said; "She's quite gentle."   My girlfriend cradled her close, and within a heartbeat, we knew she was coming home with us.  I frantically bought every conceivable item she would need, and we were out of the store in ten minutes flat.  On the way home, as I drove and my girlfriend held the drowsy little one, I asked "What shall we name her?"  My beloved, without hesitation, said "Matilde".  (Spelled and pronounced the Spanish way.)  Eventually, her nickname became "Matty", and we developed half a dozen other silly names too private to share.

For the next two and a half years, Matilde was a central figure in our lives.  Every morning and every evening, we took her out of her cage for "family playtime."  In our condo, we have a spare bedroom that we call the "nursery" (it was decorated for a baby when we bought the place); it became "Matilde's room."  We bought her the largest and roomiest chinchilla cage available, and kept her well-supplied with toys.  We struggled, oh how we struggled, to restrict her intake of treats!  She loved nuts and raisins, which are fine in moderation but dangerous in excess!  Like so many pets, she quickly became a charming and masterful beggar, perfecting that enchanting and compelling expression that always suggested that she might just starve if not given "a little something."  We gave her lots of "somethings."  (One comfort: talking with chinnie experts after her death, we were reassured that based on the circumstances of her passing, it was very unlikely that she died as a result of overfeeding.)

Our learning curve about chinchillas was steep. I had barely known such creatures existed before Matty came home; after she joined our little family, I became obsessed with learning more and more.  In due course, I realized that chins are one of the few domestic pets regularly slaughtered in this country for their fur.   Reading up on factory fur ranching (and watching one or two horrifying videos), we felt a desperate need to do something for chins not as fortunate as Matty.  In late 2004, inspired by Matty, we got in touch with the wonderful Adam and Sally Blacke, who run chincare.com and are renowned "rescuers."   

It is with Adam and Sally that my wife and I helped create the Matilde Mission: Pet Homes for Ranch Chinchillas, Incorporated.  Adam and Sally had already been running a highly successful rehoming project in Michigan; we were able to bring in some larger donors and save the lives of dozens and dozens of chins.   We have other projects in the pipeline, and indeed, I can assure you that even a small donation (tax-deductible) to the Mission will go to excellent use.  (See some of the "ranchies" that Matilde helped save!) 

Throughout our working experience with the Blackes, we've always felt inspired by Matilde herself.  It sounds absurd, I realize; a skeptic would say that we were simply inspired by the love we felt for her, not by anything she herself actually did.  But in ways that I cannot explain or fully articulate, both my wife and I felt encouraged, challenged and motivated merely by being near Matty.  "It's as if she's telling us to save her friends", we regularly said (and still say) to each other.  It was more than just her enchanting facial expressions, her gentle nuzzles, her playfulness. I've had many pets in my life, and though I've loved them all, I've never felt -- until Matilde -- that they were actively involved in making me a better person.  Inexplicably, but marvelously, I believe Matilde did just that for me and for us.

My wife and I were married in September 2005.  Our marriage is a blessing to us; we grow closer and stronger every day.  But like many couples who contemplate marriage, we went through some hard times in the year leading up to our wedding.  On two occasions, we briefly considered separating or calling it quits.  The more serious of the two quarrels happened during one of Matilde's "out times"; as she bounced around the room, her "mama" and I fought and cried and discussed calling everything off.  As the tension escalated, Matty obviously grew more and more anxious.  She ran from one of us to the other, more eager than usual for attention and stroking.  Most intelligent pets can sense their guardians' emotions; Matilde could feel our anxiety and our sadness.  Though we didn't talk about it until later, both my wife and I began to sense the same thing in the middle of the argument -- as best she could, this little ball of fluff was doing everything in her power to heal her family, to hold us together.  When she was in my arms, she would look at my fiancee plaintively; she'd then bounce over to her and gaze at me with the same haunting, heartbreaking expression.  My wife-to-be and I worked through our crisis (I don't even remember what it was about now), and we have always, always, given the credit to Matilde for pushing us through it and keeping us together!  We might well not be married today had Matty not been there for us.

I have been an animal lover since I was very small.  When I first became a Catholic in college, one great obstacle to my conversion was my deep and abiding conviction that animals had eternal souls just as people do; like so many others, I wasn't interested in a heaven that didn't include other creatures.  I was comforted by a priest (a good liberal Paulist) who pointed out some of the passages in Scripture that are familiar to many folks who have considered this issue. For example, I learned that God doesn't just make covenants with humans:

Then God said to Noah and to his sons with him:  "I now establish my covenant with you and with your descendants after you and with every living creature that was with you—the birds, the livestock and all the wild animals, all those that came out of the ark with you—every living creature on earth. I establish my covenant with you: Never again will all life be cut off by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth."

And though I know there are many ways to read the following famous passage, I am clear that "whole creation" means exactly what it seems to mean, that all living things are partners in waiting:

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.

There are other passages in Scripture that offer comfort and reassurance that animals have eternal souls, but these are the ones that always resonate with me.  (And folks, this is not the post in which to debate theology!)

I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that in ways that I cannot explain, my wife and I will be together again with our "first daughter", our "baby girl", our amazing chinchilla.  Thanks to this blog, her charity work -- and to my wife's penchant for showing pictures of Matilde to absolutely everyone -- it is quite possible that Matilde had become among the most famous chins in the world by the time of her death!  That may be a tribute to the nuttiness of her "parents", but our commitment to celebrating her both before and after her death was a consequence of the tremendous love and spiritual energy that poured forth from her tiny body.

We will have other pets -- including chinchillas -- sometime soon.  For now, we are letting ourselves grieve the loss of this exceptional little one who touched us in ways that even we veteran animal lovers found unique and surprising.   Sitting at my computer this morning, not only can I recall the feel of her fur beneath my fingers, I can feel her living presence very near me now.  In my grief, that presence is a source not only of comfort, but of profound inspiration.

Comments

[*Christopher]

Hugo,

I'm so sorry for the loss of Matilde. The bond between our mini-dachshund and us is an amazing thing. May St. Guinefort pray for you during this time of mourning.

[Catty]

That was a beautiful tribute to Matilde.

[Glen Peterson]

I haven't been by your blog for weeks. Nothing personal, just busy. So sorry to about Matilde. We are dog people at our house and I was suspicious about your chinchilla at first. But, pets are pets. When Samson our first lab passed, I wasn't sure that we could ever move on. Yet, 8 months or so later, Samson II joined our lives as an eight week old puppy. Good for you to take the emotional space to mourn. It makes us better people.

[tdimatteo]

Hi - I am also sorry to hear of the loss you experienced and while looking for answers as to why our what looked to be healthy chin passed away suddenly last night, I stumpled upon this blog. We came home and found him dead in his cage - lying on his side with what looked to be urine on his private area and his mouth and chin was wet. Can anyone shed some light on this? Please e-mail me on my private e-mail addy of danemom1965@optonline.net. Thanks!

[Kathleen Collins]

You may never even see this post as it loooks as though this is an old blog. In 2007, our 7 year old chin 'Cheech' died suddenly and unexplainedly. One minute he was playing and hoping around in his multi level condo....an hour later, I found him sprawled half way in and out of his dust house..he had just dropped and died. I couldn't have loved him more. It is almost three years later and I'm still sad.I have no idea what happened. I hope whatever it was..it was over before he realized what was happening. He was a sweet, sweet boy. what I did next was confusing. I couldn't bear to bury him. Instead, we brought him to a taxidermist....the thought of which now, makes me queasy. The taxidermist charged us a deposit of $75 and told us "Cheech' wouldn't be ready for almost a year. When we decided to follow up on the progress, with a phone call (about 10 months later), we were told our chinchilla had been 'donated' because this taxidermist claim.ed he didn't know how to get a hold of us.(Obviously, a very unscrupulous guy) So, ....we no longer had our Cheech. I should have just found the inner strength to bury him when he died, in the first place....instead of resorting to the dark alternative I thought would have made it easier to cope with. I still can't think of this without guilt and sadness and disgust for the taxidermist.
We have 5 cats and a dog, but I still miss Cheech every day.

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