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November 08, 2005



What's interesting and fascinating about those comments. All the comments through to La Lubu seem rather typical to me--also one side, which you seem to continue with in the above post. I didn't know a lack of maturity in adults was gender specific or even a predominant vexation of one sex.


Um, both Antigone and Uzzah - a woman and a man - have noted it goes both ways. Antigone even says specifically "I have a similar problem, but with different genders."

Using another person's reflections on their relationships to think about your own doesn't automatically equal making a blanket statement about "gender specific" lack of maturity in adults, much less "a predominant vexation of one sex". It just means people are comparing notes.


Well, in my defense, I mentioned to La Lubu, which would exclude Uzzah because I hadn’t read that far. I didn’t understand the post below as a blanket statement against men. I took it for what it was, Hugo reflecting upon himself—kudos Hugo. However, if I were a tallying sort of man, I wouldn’t find it much a surprise another post exemplifying male weaknesses and responsibilities. But if the below post is solely a reflection, and therefore no need in making a point to others, I find it hard not to see a point being made, intended or not, in the above post. After all, he is referring to adults in a relationship, not men and women in general critiquing the others follies, which Hugo usually dismisses as not the responsibility of the opposite sex.

I do realize that Mr. Dresner was the inspiration, which lead Hugo into further comment, that being men can be immature in adult relationships, which has something to do “with a remarkably widespread failure to hold men accountable”. Maybe in part three we might read how women’s “failure to grow up” is due to lack of accountability that leads to the breakup of relationships (wait, that doesn’t sound good). But this is a no brainer, just like the examples of male immaturity in adult relationships. Again, what is interesting and fascinating about this topic and the responses? Was it this conclusion “The problem lies in our diminished expectations of men, and our collective refusal to believe that we can challenge them to grow and transform”? It seems rather shabby for a gender studies professor.

I’m wondering if it is just too easy to say that it is a lack of personal responsibility on both the parts of women and men. I guess that would take away the intended interest of this being a gender issue and probably more importantly a feminist one. Reflections let one get away with too much. Damn blogs! ;)

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