... and I disagree about many things. But he has a post about teaching boys this week that is so good, I cheered out loud. Here's an excerpt:
My church is a great one; one that reposes trust in us. We are strictly monitored, and oversighted. The Discipline requires exactly that, and we believe in Church discipline as a principle and a practice. We are incredibly careful about our leaders, and we have policies within those bounds which tie us even further. But within the strict boundaries of integrity and policy, we are relatively free. I can take my lads out and teach under a tree. I can hug them, play basketball with them, rough-house and horse-play with them, and treat them like boys, and I get nothing but encouragement. I'm quite strict about behaviour, too, and I'm encouraged in that as well. Indeed, the more gently strict I am, the more my boys seem to like it. I suppose when you come from homes with few or no boundaries, to have them clear is comforting, and they are. I know if I were to step out of line, I would get correction from the Church twice as fast. There's tremendous security in that for me too.
If John and I were to switch youth groups, our kids would find that our theologies were different, but our pedagogies were darned near identical!
Meanwhile, I await similar posts from my friends in the men's rights movement, offering similarly winsome and touching details of how they interact with the young boys and men whom they volunteer to teach. After all, since they are so dedicated to men's issues, it would be absurd to presume that the MRAs didn't spend at least as many hours volunteering with male youth as a Pentecostal Kiwi and his Pasadena Anglican friend!
Why, Hugo, we call that flame-baiting! ;)
Posted by: Lauren | February 08, 2005 at 07:11 PM
Flamebait indeed. You're a brave man in that regard Hugo. I'd be scared to death of some kid crying assault and ending up in jail on slim evidence.
Posted by: FP | February 08, 2005 at 09:45 PM
Thanks Hugo. When you get here, you can come and sit in the back for a morning. If you don't say anything too heretical, I might even let you help! ;-)
Posted by: John | February 08, 2005 at 11:01 PM
Actually Hugo we'd like the opportunity to spend time with our *OWN* sons first.
Posted by: Thomas | February 09, 2005 at 12:47 AM
Fair call, IMHO Thomas. There are definitely issues with custody and family law that need to be sorted out to give Dads a fair go. At least in NZ that is so, and I suspect the US is little different. I wrote about it here:
http://homethronealtar.blogspot.com/2005/01/fathers-family-court-and-hero-of-week.html
Hugo is definitely stirring the pot a little, but considering some of the scurrilous nonsense the MRA people attacked him with, one can hardly blame him. There are definitely legitimate issues which the Mens Rights people ought to raise. Good on them, and I have considerable sympathy with their concerns. (I have written very strongly worded letters and signed the Petition to support shared-parenting), but what is good and right and true in what they say is obscured, at least for me, by silly rhetoric.
Posted by: John | February 09, 2005 at 01:38 AM
John - Silly rhetoric is not hard to find, no matter which cause one favors. An easy trap into which many fall, is that of sampling the lunatic fringe supporters of a given cause and then forever associating the cause with the extremists. Those who are derided as "MRAs" in this blog are a great case in point, even though there has been some attempt to exempt certain groups as long as they don't try to help divorced Dad's get to visit their kids. Meanwhile, "MRA" remains the worst of pejoratives on this blog. Hugo himself has been unable to see how his feet are firmly entangled in this very trap, and until he does, he will remain a well-intentioned but misguided man, but who does good work in his sphere.
And Hugo - since you asked, my work with young men has been with WIHD, and their main activity, Young Men's Adventure Weekend. Check out www.ymuw.org. I have been trying to get a chapter started in New Mexico, where I now live. Meanwhile, I am active in MKP.
Posted by: stanton | February 09, 2005 at 09:07 AM
CORRECTION: YMUW is Young Men's ULTIMATE Weekend.
Posted by: stanton | February 09, 2005 at 09:44 AM
I am going to do an MKP weekend in 2005, stanton; it's just got to happen.
Posted by: Hugo Schwyzer | February 09, 2005 at 09:51 AM
Hugo - I am delighted to hear you say that. All the men I have seen go through this training, without exception, have declared it to be empowering and validating. If there is anything that I can do to support you in this, I am at your disposal.
Posted by: stanton | February 09, 2005 at 01:07 PM