Ouch, and a reply to the web-elves

Lots of hits coming in this morning, as the "web-elves" at the Classical Anglican News Network have linked to my Monday post on our confirmation class at All Saints and their responses to being part of what is called a "gay church." The web-elves give the following caption for the link:

STRUGGLES OF TEENS at All Saints' Pasadena aka "The gay church." But it's OK-- kids are resilient-- it's the narcissistic needs of their elders that need to be fully satisfied first ...

Okay, I'm guilty of narcissism in many areas of my life. (The fact that the first half of the post was on running might indicate that.) But it's not narcissism that leads me -- and countless other straight folks -- to be involved in the struggle for inclusion in the church. It's not narcissism that leads me to talk to the kids about enduring homophobic taunts as part of the cost of discipleship.

The biggest lie that I think religious conservatives tell about those of us who are progressives is that we offer, to quote my beloved Bonhoeffer, "cheap grace." Because we are willing to embrace GLBTQ folks and even bless their unions, we must be so open-minded that the wind blows through. Because we see the Gospel as being as much about "kingdom now" politics as about heavenly salvation, we aren't "serious Christians." To be fair, there is some small truth to those charges. Some folks want to come to a church like All Saints Pasadena because they don't want to be challenged, they don't want to be pushed, they just want complete acceptance for whatever it is they are doing.

But spend some time around our youth program, and you'll find soul-searching and contemplation a-plenty. We push our kids out of their comfort zones all the time -- and in doing so, we push ourselves out as well. It was only because I was a youth leader at All Saints that I first started touching, and even hugging, the homeless on Skid Row in downtown L.A. It was only because I was a youth leader at All Saints that I got up at 4:30 one morning a few years ago and after all these years, finally marched in a gay pride parade (behind an All Saints banner). It was through All Saints that I first learned what it is to "tithe", to give to God first rather than last, after all the other bills are paid. None of that, web-elves, is cheap grace.

No church is perfect. Evangelical churches in this country have a hard time distinguishing cultural conservatism from the Gospel; progressive churches have the same problem distinguishing cultural liberalism from the message of Jesus. We all struggle to live humbly, loving mercy and doing justice and fulfilling the Great Commission. We do it in different ways. But web-elves, let me assure you that we are not doing this out of narcissism alone: we hit our knees in the morning, we read the Gospel (at All Saints, we are finishing up a great six-week study of Ephesians, one chapter at a time), we march, we give, we teach, we hug, we struggle. In short, we are trying -- imperfectly -- to humble ourselves before God and God's Son every bit as much as our brethren on the other side who oppose us on issues of homosexuality.

Call me a narcissist because I have a picture of me running shirtless in my photo album. Call me a narcissist because I do care whether my students respect me or not. Call me a narcissist because I like to wear Lucky Brand Jeans. Call me a narcissist because in giving to teens, I get so much in return -- and I love it. Call me a narcissist for any superficial reason you like. But don't dismiss a passion for justice and a passion for the spiritual and emotional development of the young as narcissism! For whatever reason, that's got me hoppin' mad this morning.

Or, maybe, it's just the Sudafed in my system.

Comments

[La Lubu]

Bravo, Hugo! Preach it!!

That "kids are resilient" comment really bugs me...folks that pull that catchphrase out seem to use it to mean 'kids don't really matter....I don't need to take their thoughts and feelings into account.'

Y'know, I'm sure not one for coddling or sheltering kids. Life can be (and is) tough. But that doesn't give one license to be rude or dismissive of the emotional needs of kids. I don't think most kids are in danger of growing up too coddled or sheltered. "Kids are resilient" is a phrase that is all too often used to excuse the worst behavior toward children and teens, and to excuse those who have the power to make a positive difference in the lives of youth from having any responsibility to do anything...'cuz, who gives a damn...they'll grow out of it. It'll make 'em "tough". Bah.

[Camassia]

Well, to be fair, I think the "kids are resilient" line was meant in irony ... I think he was accusing the elders at All Saints of making the young suffer for their own desires.

I agree with you though Hugo, the whole "the left is a bunch of moral relativists" thing is a canard. I think many on the left confuse matters by using the language of moral relativism sometimes, but really all the lefties I know have definite, even dogmatic, ideas of right and wrong. Certainly that was my impression on visiting All Saints -- there was a definite moral code there, and they lived by it.

[John]

It's not that you are narcissistic, it's liberal theology that is, because it bends the Word of God to fit us. Of course, many conservatives do the same, but that doesn't make it any less wrong. By the way, the Web Elves Rock!

[Jonathan Dresner]

Hugo,

And I say this in all kindness, is it at all ironic that the response to a charge of narcissism is prideful self-revelation? I'm not saying you're wrong about any of this, it just struck me.

I've come to believe that words like 'narcissistic' are fundamentally impossible to respond to on-line....

[Hugo]

Hah -- Jonathan, as always, you catch me...

[Stentor]

I read the "kids are resilient" comment as a statement of defiance -- All Saints can do its worst, but the gay agenda ultimately won't stick.

[graham]

Just keep going, Hugo. The elves have gotta bite at someone's ankles.

[Karen]

The elves bite occasionally at my ankles too. I welcome them to my site because maybe they'll actually read what I wrote sometime. I don't spend a lot of energy replying to their comments because, with a few notable exceptions, their readers don't come for discussion. They come to my site to tell me how wrong I am.

Just keep preachin' it, Hugo. It's good stuff and well worth reading.

[Lisa]

Wow, everything you write is wonderful.

[Amanda]

Navel-gazing is what blogs are for. Sometimes it's not helpful for everyone to sit around pretending that we're not narcissists for the narcissistic desire to get everyone to like us better. I find that it's impossible to cough up genuine revelations and thoughts without coming off as a narcissist. Ironically, those coming off that way are often less narcissistic because they are exposing themselves in a way a truly egotistic person would not, due to the lack of control.

[Bill Ekhardt]

Hugo, you continue to remain a valuable voice in my life. I hear little of the theological left in my life and ministry. It is good to be in fellowship with you, even if at a distance.

[Brandon]

Can someone fill me in; web-elves?

[Hugo]

"web-elves" are what the folks at CANN (click the link in my post) call themselves. It's a harmless affectation that has caught on.

[The CaNN Web Elf]

Hey:

The Web-Elves here. Really. Great discussion! Yeah-- there's no clear reason why almost nobody EVER sends us e-mail responses or plonks stuff in the commentn-boxes. We have to lurk at other fine blogs to hear what people are thinking. As for what our readers choose to do, well.. it's a free country at the momment.

And yes, we are mostly harmlessly affected. It's a non-narcissistical thang. Something to do with pirates, The Princess Bride, and defiant but occasionally humble silliness.

As for "the kids are resilient" comment, it's actually a phrase shamelessly stolen from that noted hatemongering papist and clever quipper Mark Shea via this link. Warning: he pulls no punches.

Kindest regards,

CaNN Web-Hamster
anglican.tk
gs2004.classicalanglican.com

[La Lubu]

Aaahhh! I see what you mean now, by the "kids are resilient". Now, I forgive you for using a phrase like "hatemongering papist", which just about made me spit strong coffee on my computer screen. And that's hell to clean up, y'know.

I did find it interesting, following the link, that the homily he heard gave reference to "Guess Who's Coming For Dinner"...halfway around the world from the homily I heard today. Maybe there's a website for "Quick Homily Ideas for Busy Priests" or something like that....