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October 06, 2004



Lynn, I would say the inverse is completely true. I would dare say that many women here have been confused by a man who privately seemed sincere and vulnerable but turned into an asshole the second other people were around. Now our culture writes this off as a simple situation of a man fooling a stupid, naive woman as if men were born liars, but I would suggest that perhaps it's more complex than that.


"Rape is a crime of violence. Violence and testosterone are overwhelmingly linked."

Hang on, somehow the discussion went from a girl who says "yes" for the wrong reasons, to a girl who says "no" and is overruled! The social forces that ask girls to say "yes" may indeed be the same as those that allow boys to ignore "no"... but I don't think we can pretend the situations are comparable in any other way.

Hugo (or anyone else) - do you view "just a minute, I've got my dick in someone" as an act of violence or aggression? What about "if you loved me you'd do it"?

I don't mean to say that biology has nothing at all to do this kind of emotional manipulation/aggression, but I also don't think physical aggression is a useful analogy.


I'd not say that's agressive. Insensitive? Certainly. Is this going to morph into a discussion about how sex is mostly physical for men and far more emotional for women? :)


if you're speaking strictly in the traditional insert penis into vagina coupling

I like to think we're all a little beyond such a limited definition. ("Oh, you mean you were forced into anal sex? That's not rape.")

FWIW, this is why states that reform their laws on sexual assault generally rewrite them as degrees of severity of sexual assault or criminal sexual conduct.

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