Rape, Blame, and a parody of Hugoboy

I have a critic: check out Rape, Blame, and Taking Responsibility (A Parody of HugoBoy). Have a visit, it's not the usual MRA sort of thing at all.

Comments

[morgan]

Wow, that's really awful. I really wish I hadn't read that. And the justification for using rape as a way to talk about divorce was truly a mindf@ck...

[yami]

Dang, and here I was thinking about something on the order of Phawrongula...

[J.J.B]

Hugo,
Wow!! This man has a lot of free time on his hands!!__ What nerve, to use rape in comparison to divorce!! Divorce is consensual, rape is not! It's obvious he has no respect for women or men. I can't believe that he could belittle another man's painful divorce experience in such a foul manner. To say nothing of the insult to women that may have actually experienced rape!

Hugo, its really sad when you reveal a painful life experience and someone comes along and mocks you. This man really needs to grow up and get a life!!.....I feel as if I have to apologize for him.

[Stephanie]

That was just pathetic. I'd feel sorry for him if he weren't such an asshole.

[Kat]

What a sad, sad man he must be.

[Caitriona]

I find this comment interesting:

> One final point: I find it interesting that Hugo would imply that men need to do
> something on the level of just "sucking it up and being a man." He wants them to be
> self-critical and eschew any notion of seeing themselves as victims. In this manner,
> Hugo affirms a traditional notion of masculinity: Men are primarily responsible, if
> not solely responsible, for resolving any personal problems they may have with women.

Hugo saying that he has learned from his divorces and worked on habits of his own that were factors in the failure of his previous marriages, and advocating that other people should do the same, is NOT saying that mean are primarily responsible for resolving any personal problems they have with women. It's saying that each of us is responsible for our own actions, we need to take an honest look at our own contributions to any conflict in which we are involved, and we need to evaluate and work on our own contributions to that conflict.

[Jimmy Ho]

Come on, y'all. That person describes himself as an unabashed straight, white, God-fearing male. Have some respect for underrepresented minorities, willya?

[Caitriona]

That description could fit any number of men I know whose personal philosophies seem QUITE different than that espoused in the linked post.

That being said, as I looked further through the gentleman's blog, I found some areas where he and I would be in agreement. I'll have to do further reading to see more clearly just where those areas of agreement and disagreement are.

[J.J.B]

Caitriona,
I agree with your last comment.__ I happen to agree with him on the issue of children in a divorce. A divorce with children is a traumatic experience for kids that can affect them for their entire life! It is also very difficult on the adults involved.__ But he should not disparage another's pain and suffering as less than his own. __ The bottom line is that his presentation and response to Hugo's comments are demeaning and insulting.

[Xrlq]

What a maroon. Maybe I should compose a post of my own comparing some guy who lost both legs in a car accident to me having to listen to someone else playing disco music. They both suck, so it must be a fair analogy, right?

[NYMOM]

Sorry Hugo that comment about you was totally unfair...

Many of the MRAs who are angry and post on your blog don't have children such as Angry Harry...so is that guy saying you have no right to comment on anything if you don't have children yourself...as that would leave out a lot of MRAs as well...

[stanton]

NYMOM!! I have missed you! Great to "hear your voice" again.

[Barbara Preuninger]

From my own experience, I have seen divorce situations that were quite unfair to the man, but also divorce cases that were quite unfair to the woman. Certainly many were just bad situations all around and both parties were hurt tremendously.

When I hear of a man's pain in divorce, I take it seriously as an individual case, but I don't see it as women having a specific type of power over men. Sexism often plays a factor how the powers-that-be handle divorce, but IMHO, this has equal adverse affects on both men and women.

This hardly compares to rape, which hugely disproportionately affects women. Also, I've heard of rape being described as a kind of torture. If women were physically torturing men as often as men currently rape women, then I think we'd have something to talk about from a society-wide point of view.

Until then: BZZZT. I'm so sorry...this analogy doesn't work!